I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
