the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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