Dude my mom stole all your condoms
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
