Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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