I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
