I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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