cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
You pole danced in your parka.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
