Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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