Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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