fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
