are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
