Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
