This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize
