i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
