do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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