I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
