I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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