the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize