some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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