that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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