I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
