Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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