Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
