Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
