Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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