I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
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