i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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