Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
