OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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