I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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