So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
