Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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