Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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