And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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