at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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