Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Randomize
