So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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