I must be too annoying 4 u.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
