her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I need a burrito and a hug.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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