Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
