U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
