pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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