It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
