Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
