I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Say something about gay babies.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize