i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
whose parrot is this?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
