If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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