Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
