i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
