I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
