Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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