miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
