Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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