nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Come on in and take your pants off
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