sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Nobody cheats on THIS.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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