There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Randomize
