dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
