He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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