My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize