Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
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