I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
