so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
