Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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