you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
She just used a chaser for red wine.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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