when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
