and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Randomize
