Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
