Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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