legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
