Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Randomize
