The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
