If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
