i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
