in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
