we're blogging at a bar
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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